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Sometimes, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his periods of extreme self-importance can become “really delusional”, he states. You feel invincible and you’re like, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I surpass everyone else … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these times of heightened ego are typically coming after a “crash”, a period when he feels sensitive and ashamed about his actions, making him highly sensitive to negative feedback from others. He came to wonder he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after researching his symptoms through digital sources – and was later evaluated by a clinician. But, he doubts he would have accepted the diagnosis unless he had independently formed that conclusion personally. “If you try to tell somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – most notably if they experience beliefs of dominance. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve constructed. And within that framework, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying The Condition

While people have been identified with narcissism for over 100 years, it’s not always clear what the term implies the term. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” explains an expert in narcissism, who believes the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he suggests many people keep it private, because of widespread prejudice around the disorder. A narcissist will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to enhance their social status through actions such as pursuing power,” the professor explains. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in Narcissism

Though a significant majority of people diagnosed with the condition are males, research indicates this number does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that female narcissism is typically appears in the less obvious variety, which is less commonly diagnosed. Male narcissism tends to be somewhat tolerated, just kind of like everything in society,” explains a 23-year-old who posts about her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on digital platforms. It is not uncommon, the two disorders appear together.

Individual Challenges

I find it difficult with receiving negative comments and being turned down,” she says, since when I’m told that I am at fault, I often enter defence mode or I withdraw entirely.” Even with this behavior – which is known as “ego wounding”, she has been trying to overcome it and accept input from her support system, as she doesn’t want to slip into the harmful behaviour of her past. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners during adolescence,” she reveals. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she notes she and her current boyfriend “operate with an understanding where we’ve agreed, ‘If I say something messed up, when I use toxic language, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mainly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of supportive figures during development. “I’ve been learning over the years which behaviors are suitable or harmful to say in conflicts because I never had that growing up,” she shares. “Nothing was off-limits when my relatives were belittling me in my early years.”

Origins of The Condition

Conditions like NPD tend to be linked to childhood challenges. Genetics play a role,” explains a mental health specialist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “linked to that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he continues, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was based on meeting particular demands. They then “rely on those familiar tactics as adults”.

Similar to other of the individuals with NPD, one individual thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The adult explains when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve good grades and professional advancement, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “acceptable.

In adulthood, none of his relationships were successful. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he states. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t loving someone, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, in a comparable situation, finds it hard to manage emotional regulation. She is “highly empathetic of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he says – it was surprisingly, she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Following an appointment to his general practitioner, John was referred to a clinical psychologist for an diagnosis and was told his diagnosis. He has been referred for psychological counseling through national services (a long period of therapy is the main intervention that has been shown to help NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the treatment delay for an extended period: The estimate was it is probably going to be early next year.”

John has only told a small circle about his condition, because “prejudice is common that all narcissists are abusers”, but, in his own mind, he has accepted it. The awareness assists me to gain insight into my behavior, which is beneficial,” he explains. Those interviewed have come to terms with NPD and are seeking help for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the condition. But the presence of online advocates and the development of virtual networks suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number